Trends are exhausting

I know I’m not the only one who finds keeping up with current trends exhausting, expensive, and a little confusing. Although we all fancy ourselves above following the pack and simply wearing what’s been deemed cool by some lady with a bob in America, it’s impossible to totally avoid being affected by trends and sometimes a tricky trend comes along that requires a bit of thinking to pull off. It’s all very well to read that onesies are big this season, but without a bit of advice to push you in the right direction you might make the mistake of, say, wearing a onesie outside of the comfort and privacy of your lounge; those things are pyjamas, people! So here are a few upcoming trends for summer, along with some guidance on how to wear them:

Dunagarees: The comeback of the overall has been met with resistance but I’m here to tell you to close your eyes, give in, and let your body slide into the world of head to toe denim; it’s comfy here. Avoid looking like a hillbilly by staying away from the flannel shirts and pairing them with a simple t-shirt or vest.

Crop tops: Crop tops are those tops that look like someone’s cut off the bottom half of it. You know, the ones fathers everywhere love to say ‘I hope they only charged you half price for that ‘cos it’s only half a shirt!’ about (good one, dad). This season’s crop tops are all about exposing that bit of skin around the bottom of your ribs. Sure, it sounds kinda bizarre for a patch of skin showing to be ‘in’ but hey, I don’t make the rules. Achieve this by pairing your crop top with a high-waisted skirt/shorts and staying away from low-rise bottoms; no one wants to see your weird outie belly-button.

Short Shorts: Hemlines have been growing shorter and shorter for the past few summers. A lot of people complain about them but let’s just accept that booty shorts for girls and short shorts for guys are here to stay so we might as well learn to wear them correctly. Guys, the less people wearing awkward knee length board-shorts in this world, the better a place it is to live in. Go for shorts that cut mid-thigh – if they’re short enough to let those soft ‘n fluffy hairs on the back of your upper thigh feel the breeze you and I both know they’re too short. Girls, before leaving the house in those shorts I’d suggest doing the bend test. If one or more butt cheeks slip out your shorts when you bend over you know what to do. If you really want to wear them pop some tights on underneath or, hey, if you’re feeling confident and happy to show off your perfectly toned upper thigh area go ahead; I’m only going to hate on you ’cause I’m jealous.

High-Waisted Bikinis: Ladies are hesitant to give in to this trend as it will affect their tan lines. I say a weird tan is a small price to pay for a flattering and classy looking bikini bottom (although as a so-pale-she’s-almost-see-through person I’m probably the last person to be taking tanning advice from). They cover up everyone’s worst body part (the tummy area) plus this old-fashioned style totally makes you look like one of those pin up girls.

Bucket Hats: Remember summertime when you were a kid and your mom put that embarrassing floppy hat on you and covered your face in suncream without rubbing it in properly? Yeah that look’s in again (OK, not the suncream bit, but gosh that stuff is still so hard to rub in, right?). Bucket hats are not only socially acceptable again, they are also way more practical than the other popular headgear at the moment, the 5 panel cap, as they cover the back of your neck. And what’s sexier than saving your skin from the sun?

Written by Andie Reeves for a now-defunct section of Platform called ‘Fashion’.

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